Submitted by Zach (not verified) on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 17:10.
Overall it looks great. Some suggesions:
-in the second paragraph, change "a Community Manifesto" to "this Community Manifesto" (doing so adds clarity)
-throughout--add "and" before the last item in a list (it's ok to omit it sometimes for emphasis or to seem artsy, but do so sparingly)
-Diversity--second and third sentence aren't sentences.
-Kill the quotes around "Innovation Desk"
I WANT TO WORK IN A MODERN AGORA!
I've found some folks who are interested in coworking in Louisville, but nothing ever comes of it. Your manifesto motivated me to try again.
Overall it looks great. Some suggesions:
-in the second paragraph, change "a Community Manifesto" to "this Community Manifesto" (doing so adds clarity)
-throughout--add "and" before the last item in a list (it's ok to omit it sometimes for emphasis or to seem artsy, but do so sparingly)
-Diversity--second and third sentence aren't sentences.
-Kill the quotes around "Innovation Desk"
I WANT TO WORK IN A MODERN AGORA!
I've found some folks who are interested in coworking in Louisville, but nothing ever comes of it. Your manifesto motivated me to try again.